Anxious About Being Anxious

One month and baby girl will be here (maybe less after all of the cramps I’m having).  I’m a bit nervous even though this will be my 3rd delivery and the other 2 were safe and healthy.  Do you want to hear something funny?  I‘m anxious about being anxious.  The hormones and post-partum depression denied and gone unchecked that led me to so much anxiety is staring me in the face.

Questions of what-ifs swirl in my head.

& then I remember the Freedom that God gave me through counseling and a little medicine.  No shame.

I will not listen to the negative thoughts, but will focus on the positive.  I know that God is a God of redemption and healing.  I need to continue memorizing God’s truths that tell me who I am and Who He is.  The more I focus on myself, the more anxious I become.

Here’s to the next month of deep breaths, prayer and trusting in the amazing God of the universe.  (& maybe a few more snuggles with my kids!)

12 Ways I Handle Anxiety

I’ve had some people email me privately asking about my medications for my anxiety….
I don’t want to share specific medications on my blog, but I will share with you (in no particular order) some things I’ve learned or have been doing over the past months ~

Just remember

Everybody is different
&
Every-Body is different….
What has worked for me, may not work for you.

• I’ve been taking a low dose of my medicine (and stepped it up just a bit – which I guess is normal) and have been feeling better.  I have an “emergency” Rx I keep in my purse if I feel like I’m going to have an attack. 
• I’m hoping to be able to transition off of my meds next spring (2013) per my doctor.  Some people need to stay on them for life, while others go on and off of them or just go on them once.
• I haven’t had an attack in quite some time, but I am now more in tune with what feelings go with anxiety attacks.  If I’m hoping to go off of the medication for the long haul I want to be able to recognize the symptoms and learn to calm myself now.  
• If I feel a lot of stress, it may be two weeks ’til it shows up physically in the form of an anxiety attack.  I’m a “suck it up” and “get it done” kind of girl so recognizing and avoiding stressful situations is very important.  
• I have gained weight – not sure if it’s the medication or the fact that my gym membership expired and I haven’t really exercised like I was!  (I’ll blame the meds).  
• We did make it a priority with our Christmas money gifted us to get a spin bike, so there are no excuses in the cold Michigan winters with the kids.  I know exercise will help a lot!
• I have been working on (and my husband can say I’m nowhere near perfect) on my eating habits.  I have been known to focus on making healthy choices for the kids, but not so good at following through for myself.
• My husband and I have talked through (outside of an anxious moment) how I need him to respond to me….how to truly help and avoid his “fix it” mentality.
• I went through an amazing Bible study group that truly helped me dig in and realize the lies I was believing and living out in my life.  
• I have made it a priority to start my day with God rather than try to fit Him into “my” busy schedule.  Spending time with Him and learning to trust in Him with ALL things.  
• I have gone to the chiropractor a few times to be adjusted.  The pain that was in my chest is connected to my chiropractic issues and not a heart issue.
• My family and friends around me (and that includes all of you) have been so amazing!  God is showing me that I’m not alone in all of this.  Not only is God here for me, but all of you!  Thank you!
• In addition, I had some amazing advice from fellow friend bloggers (who I truly appreciate, but will not mention their names due to privacy).  They truly answered a million questions I had and supported me.  Thank you.  

So, as I travel through this struggle of anxiety I will continue to share bits and pieces with you.  If you ever have specific questions, please don’t hesitate to email me.

When I Finally Asked for Help

The past week and a half have been a bit crazy around my house (and in my head!)  The other Sunday I was sitting in church listening to the message when all of a sudden I felt like I was going to pass out.  It was so weird and caught me off guard.  I grabbed my husband’s arm and we went out into the “lobby” and sat down in a chair.  Of course this brought back feelings of 2 years ago instantly.  The story was starting the same and I’m not gonna lie, I went instantly into freak out mode.  Thankfully I had some amazing people around me that started praying for me and tried to calm me down.
I went home to nap the afternoon away.  If you know me, that’s not normal.
Monday I made phone calls to make a Dr. appt. and realized that I don’t have a “family Dr.” – I know, tsk, tsk.  Believe me, I won’t make that mistake again.  No one would see me for at least 2 weeks.
Not acceptable.
A few days passed and I went to the Medi-Center in tears.  I had allowed my dizziness and other symptoms get me all wound up thinking my tumor was back. 
After tears, blood tests and anxiety I have to say I’m feeling a bit better.  I didn’t get medicine for an inner ear infection, but I think that’s what started it all.

Started what you ask?

The fact that I’m taking a mild anti-depressant to help with anxiety.

Why am I telling you this?  

Because I want other women to know that it’s o.k.  I struggled with it for nearly a year and refused to fill an RX because of fear and shame.  No longer.  (I had a friend share with me how King Hezekiah was the first story in the Bible where God used medicine to heal rather than just healing them.)
I’m going to take the meds, go to counseling and get back off of it.
Ever since the tumor I never really worked through things.  I had the tumor removed 9 days after I found out about it and was back to work in a month.  I’m realizing that I never really dealt with it and I just picked up and moved on (or so I thought .  
So, nearly 10 days after my “wake up” and “take care of yourself” call, I am waiting to meet with my new Dr. in regards to my blood tests for some things that run in my family & am feeling like my head is finally connected to my body. 
Did I mention that I stopped drinking caffeine???  Yep, crazy, I know.  Cold Turkey.  Hey, if I’m gonna make changes and feel like I’m in a cloud, I might as well do it all at once

So, catch me up!  What have you been up to?  Do you struggle with anxiety?