The past week and a half have been a bit crazy around my house (and in my head!) The other Sunday I was sitting in church listening to the message when all of a sudden I felt like I was going to pass out. It was so weird and caught me off guard. I grabbed my husband’s arm and we went out into the “lobby” and sat down in a chair. Of course this brought back feelings of 2 years ago instantly. The story was starting the same and I’m not gonna lie, I went instantly into freak out mode. Thankfully I had some amazing people around me that started praying for me and tried to calm me down.
I went home to nap the afternoon away. If you know me, that’s not normal.
Monday I made phone calls to make a Dr. appt. and realized that I don’t have a “family Dr.” – I know, tsk, tsk. Believe me, I won’t make that mistake again. No one would see me for at least 2 weeks.
Not acceptable.
A few days passed and I went to the Medi-Center in tears. I had allowed my dizziness and other symptoms get me all wound up thinking my tumor was back.
After tears, blood tests and anxiety I have to say I’m feeling a bit better. I didn’t get medicine for an inner ear infection, but I think that’s what started it all.
Started what you ask?
The fact that I’m taking a mild anti-depressant to help with anxiety.
Why am I telling you this?
Because I want other women to know that it’s o.k. I struggled with it for nearly a year and refused to fill an RX because of fear and shame. No longer. (I had a friend share with me how King Hezekiah was the first story in the Bible where God used medicine to heal rather than just healing them.)
I’m going to take the meds, go to counseling and get back off of it.
Ever since the tumor I never really worked through things. I had the tumor removed 9 days after I found out about it and was back to work in a month. I’m realizing that I never really dealt with it and I just picked up and moved on (or so I thought .
So, nearly 10 days after my “wake up” and “take care of yourself” call, I am waiting to meet with my new Dr. in regards to my blood tests for some things that run in my family & am feeling like my head is finally connected to my body.
Did I mention that I stopped drinking caffeine??? Yep, crazy, I know. Cold Turkey. Hey, if I’m gonna make changes and feel like I’m in a cloud, I might as well do it all at once
So, catch me up! What have you been up to? Do you struggle with anxiety?