Chains that I easily allow to find me suddenly fall.
Chains of fear, anxiety, need to please, desire to control.
Key Verse: John 12:3 (ESV): Mary therefore took a pound of expensive ointment made from pure nard, and anointed the feet of Jesus and wiped his feet with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.
In middle school, my sister wanted to spend all her money on a bottle of perfume from the local mall. Birthdays, babysitting, and begging for the difference got her enough money to head to the department store and purchase the treasured triangular bottle from the glass case. It had a floral, woodsy scent, of lilies and freesia. For months she carefully positioned each pump on her clothes to not waste a drop, using it all on herself.
God calls us.
God calls us to love everyone. Love the seemingly unlovable, the tough. God asks us to trust Him and walk with Him, in the midst of the unknown.
This year our family challenged with some tough relationships and situations. Together we faced the vulnerable, the scary, and uncharted territory for our family. We did not handle every situation well. However, we comprehended just a bit more of how much Jesus loves us, sacrificed for us, and pursues us, mess and all. The idea that we can even possibly pull ourselves together enough to present ourselves as lovable and desirable to God is laughable.
All of that being said,
What God calls us to may not be easy, in fact it probably won't be easy.
God doesn't promise easy, He promises that He is with us. God with us, Emmanuel.
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. - John 1:14 NASB
Jesus wasn't welcomed by all. His moments on earth were full of pain and suffering as well. There was purpose to it.
But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. - Isaiah 53:5 NIV
We cannot forget this truth every December we remember our Savior's birth. No matter what He asks us to do, or all of the difficulties and pain, joys and doubts we may face, He is here. Jesus has been, is, and always will be with us. There's nothing He cannot do. There's nothing too big for God.
Tough relationships that need mending.
A Christmas without a loved one.
Looming health issues.
Fear of the future.
Times of desperation or confusion.
Times of joy and praise.
Let us reflect on God's Truths this week and rest in Jesus. How are you taking to heart and embracing the fact that God is with us in the midst of it all? What does this mean for you this season? What is God asking you to move forward in today?
(I wrote this over the past month. Today in church, the message was almost exactly what I had written. God is good. The impressions on my heart He leaves in prayer times are reinforced through leaders and friends in life...so humbling!)
Scrolling mindlessly on Facebook as the day wraps up is not edifying, but what I was doing the evening an image changed our family forever. What is this picture? What is this story? The image, a child that needs love. The story, a family providing a loving home. The future, well, God knows.
In the middle of ads and random posts of friends describing their daily fun, every once in awhile there stood a picture, a child or a group of children staring at me, tugging at my heart. Like many, I “liked” the post and continued on my mindless 10 minutes of Facebook. And then one day I went to the page where these images were coming from and liked New Horizons For Children. Months went by and I continued to read the stories and wonder if when our kids were older we could maybe host or adopt. Surely with 3 younger children we weren’t at the point in our lives to open our home to these hurting children. What could we give? We had always talked about mission trips and adoption, but weren’t sure when to take next steps.
One evening I asked my husband what he would think if I asked for more information on hosting an orphan from Eastern Europe, you know, for a few years from now. He gave an assuring yes, and I filled out an application online and got a response within days. After reading through the site, I put it aside and continued with our daily life. It just isn’t for us for now I thought as I rolled over in our cozy bed and drifted to sleep watching reruns of cooking shows.
“Would you be interested in hosting an orphan this summer for 5 weeks?” the coordinator asked in an email. There was a little girl who needed a family to show her unconditional love. Um…seriously!? I always thought I couldn’t right now. I had everyone’s excuse of kids at home, finishing another degree, student loans, and um…there was really no good excuse I could think of to calm this nagging excitement. A sleepless night of prayer met me. How was I feeling so peaceful about such a jump? How could we do this? After 2 days of communication tag with the coordinator I found out that the girl had a home. My stomach dropped. I was happy for the girl, but disappointed. All of the peace and excitement were for what reason?
“Would you still be interested in hosting this summer?” the coordinator asked. She suggested that we just look through the biographies of the children and see if there are any children we’d like more information on, those that may fit well with our family. After work I logged in and began reading the personalities and likes of these beautiful children living in a world so different than ours. I have served at an orphanage in South America in the past. I’ve met the loving kids that just want to be known, and know that they are special and loved. Paul and I often talked openly about possibilities, but always with a 5 year time frame. I began looking at all of the stories of the children and that’s when I saw them. Brother and sister. They described the likes and dislikes of our family perfectly. The two children were the ones. Choked up, and before I knew, I was excitedly writing an email asking for more information.
I rushed to call Paul at work and tell him about these children. I had a hint of anxiety sharing, worried that he would say that this was all crazy, too fast, not the right timing. Instead I was met with, “It sounds like this is undeniably the right thing to do.” (Thank you Lord for my husband who follows You with such great faith!)
Paul came home and we went through the picture and the story multiple times talking excitedly and playing with our kids.
Paul grabbed it and put it on the charger.
When the phone turned on it began to “ding” multiple times. So many texts. I shuffled to the kitchen and began reading. It was the coordinator I had just talked to at lunch, and emailed a few hours earlier. She wanted to let me know that she was going to give my phone number to a family that was currently in the process of adopting the roommate of one of the siblings we are looking to host this summer. They could just give me more information since they are in contact and know the two children we are looking at hosting. Oh good! People that can share with me about these kids. I wondered where this family might live. Then a few other texts, and finally the words…they live in our hometown. (Seriously? Our town? Out of the entire U.S., this family adopting the roommate to the siblings we are interested in hosting lives in our city? That is impossible!)
“Hello” began the conversation where we discovered that the mother had been praying for a family to host these two children from Eastern Europe, and more specifically, in our hometown. She had shared with friends and churches all over our area. For months she and her family prayed. We saw and heard of none of this before now. The deadline had drawn closer and tears across the ocean streamed down faces as children, who were being invited into homes in the U.S., were announced and the siblings were not on the list.
At this point Paul and I know without a doubt that this step we are taking is what we are to do, and are excited to know that these prayers have been answered, andthe the tears that were shed were not in vain. There are many more things that were spoken on the phone that let us know without a doubt that this is right.
We are excited and have peace about this. I move between tears and sheer excitement that this adventure is undeniably orchestrated by God.
We don’t know what God will call us to after this summer.
We have stepped out in faith knowing that we are called to open our home this summer to D and K. We are oddly not worried about asking others to join us on this journey as we have often found ways to support others and love to be a part of what God is doing in His children’s lives around the world.