This was hard.  My homework from my Bible study for this week was to write a letter of apology to my husband.

Not easy.

I’d like to think that I’m a good wife.  I love my husband, make dinner, take care of our kids, give him time away with his friends.  Really, we make a great team.  When we fight, I say I’m sorry and we move on.  Then why do I have to write a letter of apology?

I’m mean, what’s in the past is in the past, right!?

Wrong ~ I’m doing little things that are hurting him & our relationship. 

Sitting down and thinking of all of the ways that I’m not being kind and hurting him.  What am I doing on a daily basis?  The little things that have a huge long term impact.  I can’t believe what came out when I started praying and thinking about it ~

• I find myself mumbling under my breath as I walk away upset (eh, he didn’t hear me so it doesn’t count!??)
• Looking for him to give me affirmation at every corner – tell me I’m wonderful and beautiful (um, that’s God’s job – although it’s a plus when I hear it!)  No, seriously – I put pressure on him if I don’t hear it enough.  I can be cranky or go pout if I don’t hear it enough.  Not exactly going to get me praise!  (I need to find my significance in God – I know that, but do I truly believe that and live it out in my marriage?)
• I find myself immediately thinking the worst when he does or says something that is wrong.  Instead of giving him the benefit of the doubt I immediately jump to the conclusion that he’s…. trying to hurt me…. trying to push me away… trying to make me cry.

This is only some of the stuff in my letter – maybe I’ll share more later.  This is still fresh and hard for me to admit and write (let alone share with all of you!)

Do you relate to my issues?  What things do you put on people you’re in relationship with?  If you’re not married, maybe it’s with your best friend or a parent?

Think about it.  
Pray about it.
Write a letter.